when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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