Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
