dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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