Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
