Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
