the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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