Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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