Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
