just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
