I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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