I molested 6 butterflies tonight
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
