DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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