the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
