ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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