i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
