Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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