i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
