Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
