i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
