Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
