Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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