How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
