I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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