I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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