I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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