i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
