Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
too bad you live with your parents still
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
