Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
