me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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