Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
