Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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