I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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