I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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