i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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