im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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