a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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