I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
