He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
