there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
