you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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