That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
