saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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