Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
