If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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