when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
