just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
