I'm drive I can fine osifer
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
