Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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