Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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