I hate all girls vehemently.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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