Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
