we have officially lost it.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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