i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
