I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Need sex. Gaining weight.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
